Children Love Responsibilities

"If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders"

- Abigail Van Buren

Children get bored when they are not sufficiently engaged, and they start to become cranky or fussy. Sometimes, this is followed by disruptive behaviour and eventual recuritment of other children into the disruption.

It's incredible how quickly children are able to recruit other children in unacceptable behaviour (usually inadvertently). It's like a cue that gets other children started. Apart from enaging them in tasks, one way that I try to manage this is by giving them responsibilities. I learnt this earlier, and have seen it play out and work in different situations.

And trust me when I say children love responsibilities. We do them a disservice when we "shield" them from responsibilites because we think they're too young to understand or that they will slow us down, or we're usually looking for the kind of perfection that their young hands cannot give.

I remember an experience I had in a school where I worked in the past. I was the TA in charge of collecting kids from their classes for After-School Clubs (ASC). There was one child in year six, John, (not real name) who wasn't the easiest to handle. Everytime I had the children out in the corridor waiting to take them to the hall, he was either talking to the other children, or making silly noises to distract them. I would try and get them quiet, but it would only last a few minutes and start again.

I was on my way to collect the kids one afternoon when John's teacher asked me to help her take him to a teacher in another class where he could cool off because he was being disruptive. He started to come with me, but as soon as we got in the corridor and away from the teacher, he changed his mind and stopped walking. He held on to a door by the corridor and refused to move. Wahala for me as school rules stated that no child be left unsupervised in the corridors. I couldn’t take him to the class he was to go, I couldn't take him with me to the other classes to get the kids and I couldn’t leave him where he was. He didn't move. It did not help that it was a few minutes to home time and so I needed to quickly gather the kids for ASC. Some of the kids were already standing in line in their classes waiting to be collected.

I used teacher-firm voice to talk to this child. No way! Then I tried calm voice as well. He just stood there firm like a tree (planted by the rivers of water 😁). He was one of the high-demand kids in the school (requiring frequent intervention from school management) during school hours. His mood could go from calm and cooperative to disruptive and sometimes violent meltdown in one minute.

While I was thinking of what to do and asking the Holy Spirit to help me, a bright idea came to me. I mentioned to him that I would need an assistant to help me get the kids out quickly as I was running late, then asked him if he could be my ASC assistant. He would have to go into the class and tell the teacher politely that he was coming to get the ASC kids for Miss Essien. I reminded him that assistants were usually well behaved in order to model good behaviour for the kids, especially as he was in year 6 (big kids class).

It worked! He immediately let go of the door he had been holding on to and followed me. I just signalled to the teacher through the glass while he went in to ask for the kids. I must say he did it quite...and of course I praised him for it. I told the rest of the kids that I had an assistant and they had to listen to him. He became my assitant for the rest of my time there, reminding kids to stand in line and be quiet, and I did not have to worry about him distracting the other children again.

I was amazed at how quickly it worked and was wondering why I didn't think of it before then (I had help this time though. Lol).

Outside of the classroom, there are age-appropriate responsibilities that we can give our children. It makes them feel valued, they get a chance to learn and develop skills. When I get a chance, I shall share some age-appropriate responsibilities for children.

Now over to you...what ways has giving children responsibilities helped you in managing their behaviour?

Love always,

Amazing Jesz