Parenting Tip 1 - Let Kids Be Bored

Kids need time to be bored; that is how creativity is born" - Melanie Jean Juneau

 
Yes, I said it! Let kids be bored! 😁

I look at some children sometimes and see how their lives are filled with a lot of activities. They are almost always engaged and stimulated. And like the Energiser Bunny, they just keep going. Lol. 

So now I say to you, it is a-okay for a child to be bored.

I started a podcast sometime last year. It just involved recording some audio devotionals for children to listen. Just before I started, a couple of my friends had suggested that I make it a video podcast, and because children love visuals, they would watch and probably engage more with it. I agreed with them, and it's true. Any flashy thing with a sound will pique their interest. 

But then I began thinking about how children get exposed to a lot of things that stimulate and potentially distract them. They get overloaded with sights, sounds, activities, etc that overwhelm their brains. In a bid to not let them be bored, we fill in their time with distractions which then becomes counterproductive. If it's not exposure to electronic devices via bright screens on phones, tablets, TVs, etc, then it is being piled with activities. 

Anyway, for my podcast, I opted for an audio because I wanted to get children interested in listening. To sit quietly and listen, and possibly think about what they're listening to while engaging their imaginations as I speak. I've gotten some good feedback from parents who said their kids looked forward to it. And whenever it was time, they would sit quietly and actually listen, and ask questions. I do hope to get some help soon so that I can get back to it soon.

Now to my message. Studies have shown that overstimulation does affect children negatively. More immediate reactions would be irritation, getting cranky, then it gets to addiction (in the case of electronic devices), difficulty focusing (it's bad enough that their attention span is short), even spilling into being overdiagnosed with attention-deficit disorders etc. Quick tip - if you notice your child is cranky and crying with no known cause, especially in a really busy environment, might help to remove them from all the activity and get them to a quiet place to soothe.

There's growing literature supporting this as well as anecdotal evidence from parents who have seen remarkable changes in their children after reducing stimulating activities. Now I also see studies that reveal how an over-decorated classroom, rather than help children learn, overloads their brains and distracts them, making learning even more difficult. That's a conversation for another day. Lol.

What do I suggest? 

I'll start with screen time or electronic devices (which is not exactly the crux of this post), the general advice is that a child under age 5 should not spend more than 30 minutes a day being exposed, and after age 5, no more than an hour a day. This is not set in stone as I understand circumstances are different. 

Then my main recommendation which I'll call "boredom time" or "thinking time" (I know you can come up with a better name than me. LOL). This is a period when children are intentionally given time with no specific activity or task to complete. They can come up with what they want to do with their time. To start, you could give them ideas or pointers - like fold their clothes, re-arrange their room, think of their week in school (what they did or could have done differently or better), practise a new skill they learnt, write, read something fun, etc. The list is endless. 

It might not sound good to them when you start, and they might put up a little resistance or complaint. It's okay. And don't worry about them not knowing what to do or not liking your suggestions. Once they start doing a thing and it doesn't interest them, they will think and move on to something else till they find one that does interest them. In moments like this, they somehow manage to turn on their creativity to do really interesting things. They could also find new hobbies, and develop the talents they have. It's incredible the things they can come up with.

If they know ahead what day it is, they may even start to anticipate and plan towards it. This is not just for younger children. This ability to plan helps in developing their executive function skills (planning, organising, remembering, focusing, etc) - skills necessary for life and that continue to mature well into adulthood. Afterwards, you can speak about how the day/time went - or what output or lessons they got from it. Please resist the temptation to turn it into an academic exercise that they must report on - it kills the creativity and possible opportunities for self-driven learning. 

This is a skill or habit they would find really helpful as they grow into adults. 

Please let me know if you plan to practise this. I would love to hear your experiences.

Stay tuned for more Parenting Tips.

Love always,

Amazing Jesz